If theres a rocket. . .

Please God tie me to it?

Right, I fail at BEDA, meh. BEcky wasnt interested so I lost interest too.

I might start a new blog. People know this one and I'm not sure I like that. Why did I tell them?

On Tuesday I hung out with Laura, didnt do much but had fun. We went greyhound racing that evening and it was fun. There was one dog though. Forest Romeo. My favourite film being Forrest Gump, Laura's being Romeo & Juliet, we decided to back him/her.

Outside we went and before the race started I told Laura, "If this dog wins, I will propose to you before I turn 21"

And with that the race started. Number 2, our newfound dog, fell behind and things werent looking good. On the back straight he was 4th, maybe 5th. All of a sudden he battled back and won by a lenght. Me and Laura shouted rather loudly, to the amusement of everyone else in the stand, but we didnt care. We had won a marriage proposal(and forty quid).

Yesterday it was our 3 month anniversary. I wanted to make it special. We went to Howth to visit the graves of some of her family, something she had wanted to do for a while. I then brought her to Bray, to Sealife. I bought her a teddy, food, ice cream and we walked on the beach. I tried my absolute hardest to make it the most romantic day of her life.

I guess it didnt work as she spent the day texting. In fact, whenever we hang out, her phone is permanently in her hand.

She texts Nikki a lot. I cant really give out, its her sister.

She texts Becky a lot. I cant really give out, its her best friend.

But its not really fair, is it? Am I just being selfish? But 60 euro and 2 weeks of organising only for her to sit texting?

My next point. This Becky thing that I dont bloody get at all. Apparantly she gets upset at me and Laura.

What do I do?

What?!?

Answers on a fucking postcard please.

I want to be able to have fun with Laura, without worrying about the feelings of someone we both love dearly.

I dont know what to do. Honestly. Heck, Ive tried to reassure Becky that me being with Laura wont change anything. Ive made attempts to hang out more, etc. But do you know what? Its not all my fucking fault. Becky's just as fucking happy going off with Vicky and Aoife. She left us at Becca's birthday, not our fault. Im sick being made feel bad. Im sick of Laura being upset cause she thinks Becky is mad at her. Im sick of Becky being upset because she thinks Laura/Me are mad at her.

Its just stupid. I love Becky. I love Laura. Laura loves Becky. Becky loves Laura. SO WHAT IS THE FUCKING PROBLEM?!?!?!

I dont want to lose my best friend. But I dont want to lose my soulmate either.

Please God give me a rocket. And just fucking tie me to it.

thanks,
Karl
xx