The Hardest Part

It's amazing how a quick blow can make everything tumble.

My uncle died on Thursday, I dont know what to write about that. It is horrific watching 4 kids bury their father, without their mother being there. I understand why people lose belief in God, this has just made mine stronger.

Where to next...

Things with Laura haven't been great lately either. I'm such a fuck up. She's getting pissed off and I don't blame her. It's only a matter of time until she finds someone better. She's going to America for 2 weeks, I'll be amazed if she doesnt find someone better there.

Next...

Aoife asked me today was I going to London? I was like "sorry what?" and she looked horrified, I guess she wasnt meant to tell me. A quick scan of another blog tells me Vicky and Aoife are favoured, ah yes because I'm a boring cunt, the joys.

Anything else?

Ah yes, having a foster child. Absolutely shit.

I swear I dont know why I try, what's the point? I hate sounding all melodramatic but I just cant find a light to latch onto.

Tom Delonge told 999 others and I that you have to wake up every morning, look in the mirror and love yourself. And when you're out walking, you need to realise the thousands of miracles that are happening just to make every single moment perfect.

I've been listening to AvA, they've become a....comfort band. Snow Patrol & Bloc Party are there for two extremes of emotion, elation and sorrow. AvA are there when I want to feel sad but fall in love with the world again. I just need to try get up the....strength to...I've lost what I was going to say. A tear just formed in my eye.

You feel bad y'know? Here I am complaining because of whatever, yet these "problems" pale in comparison to losing your dad at 16.

I just finished a great book, Confessions of a Fallen Angel by Ronan O'Brien. It was amazing, loved every page of it. Shockingly upsetting however, it's kind of like the Green Mile, you know what is going to happen and yet you are still shocked and upset when it does. It takes a very good author to do it.

Anyway, I'm just about done. I need to go try think of what I've done to Becky to make her mad at me. I've got to just fucking wake from this lull


Thanks,
Karl
xx